Funnies From the Forum

OK. This is something I might keep doing, or something I'll never thing about again. Funny how that works... Anyway. I'm part of a forum ---> http://www.dragonsinourmidst.com/forums <--- That one, and everyone there is insane, like me. So if you don't have the time to read the books, become a member and all that... I could post some of the funny stuff here... I could but I never said I would... OK OK Fine! I'll do it. =D

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Ever Wonder...Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkensour skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport "the terminal"?

Tell me what you think! ;p ~Jacob